Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Leaving the Foyer

I am so super excited that I get to talk about this part of my life now. First, shame on me for trying to hard to talk God into letting me share early because if I had...what a missed opportunity I would have had.

I had this dream a couple of weeks ago. It boggled my mind for a couple of days. I shared it with one or two ladies that I trust A LOT despite the feeling that it was just for me for a certain time. I tried to figure this dream out several times and came up with some "Earthly" revelations about it but then it happened!!! Hit me square between the eyes!

The dream:
I was driving down this long DARK road. It was so dark that my headlights on my car couldn't penetrate the darkness! I only knew it was lined with trees because it was familier. I had been there before. I had traveled down this road alot. I was comfortable in the darkness. There was no fear at all. I arrived at a stop sign and I knew I had a decision to make. Left or Right? There was a directional road sign in front of me but I couldn't see it. I tried everyway I knew how. I positioned my car to shine the lights on it. I took my cell phone out to shine the light on the sign but no success. I knew if I could just see the sign I would know what to do and where to go but it wasn't happening. Since I didn't know what to do...I CALLED MY MOM! This is important to know because hardly ever in my life have I gone to God first. Joyce Meyers says, "Go to the throne before you go to the phone!". Not me, I ALWAYS call my mom first (I trust her). Anyway, I am on the phone with my mom and explaining my dilemma. Then I see a house! The house is sitting off the road but it is lite up like you wouldn't believe. In all that darkness was this house glowing with lights!

My mom kept saying "Go to the house Michelle. It will be ok. Go to the house" but I didn't want too. I was afraid. I was good in the darkness and preferred to stay there. How DUMB is that. How RIDICULOUS! How crazy is it that I wanted to stay there in that darkness??????? The one I trust telling me to go but I.WAS.SCARED. Finally, I go. I walk to the door and knock. As open the door I see a man sitting there. Noone I have seen before but he was familer and I said "Oh, it's you!" The house was cozy. He was welcoming. Just before I woke up I stepped into the foyer!

Now I have thought and thought about this dream and all that it could mean!
1. I would rather stay in the darkness than step into the light.Well, I am already in the light. That doesn't work
2. I shouldn't call my mom all the time for advice. I should go to God first. well yes but NO. That wasn't it.
3. I miss home because this house felt like home to me.That was a stretch but ok

Fast Forward to Tuesday night Women of Purpose! Kristen Miller speaks my interpretation!!! She doesn't even know it and it was the coolest thing I have ever experienced. It was difficult to hold back the tears of JOY...

God wants an intimate relationship with us! He can't have that relationship with me if I am IN THE DARKNESS. He wants us to experience him in every room of the house! Ex: Come into the living room with him and REST. Go into the kitchen with him and break bread. Be intimate with him in the bedroom (the scariest part for me). I have been standing in the FOYER for years!! I was in the darkness for a long time and I didn't mind. I came out of the darkness but didn't get very far. I have stepped into the HOUSE but haven't really gone much further. I have gained most of my revelation from other people (I have had some of my own but it's absolutely more on the other side of the fence). Most of my knowledge of Jesus comes from sermons instead of personal revelation or studying the word faithfully.

I found myself today longing to KNOW Jesus. Not just KNOW of him. I can promise anyone under the sun that you will NEVER get to KNOW anyone by standing in the FOYER OF THEIR HOUSE! As I think about the rooms in my house and the things that happen there and think about going to those places with God; it makes me smile. Just now I had to take a break to talk to Alyssa. We just had a sweet conversation about her day. We connected heart to heart and laughed. I imagined that type of relationship with God and literally got butterflies. Now that is what I am talking about.

I am committing right now to myself, to God and to my family to visit God's house everyday. I will not focus on the darkness. I will explore every room. I will rest with him. I will read his word. I will allow him to love me in my most secret places and through my darkest hours. He will become my bestfriend, my lover along with my daddy (yes Kristen, that still gives me with wierdo's a little bit but I get it)...God is love and I think I will let him love me! That is the simplest part of this journey!

Sunday, February 5, 2012


I have so much inside me that needs to come out but right is just simmering. Here is a sneak peek :)

Action! That is a dirty word to me at this point in my life. I have always been one to "do". When something goes wrong, I am the first one to want to fix it with my words, with my behavior, with my actions!

Guess what I am learning? Sometimes, most times, I should just BE. I should just it let BE and let God take ACTION.

What a state of SIMPLICITY that puts me in :)

The end!