Thursday, August 29, 2013

Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep!

Ever had something stirring in you? Something that you know is there but you just haven't been able to get the words put together to express it?

Well, I have been right there for the past couple of months. I have known that something was stirring but I just couldn't hardly put my finger on it. But then I ran into a friend yesterday and we were just chatting and I said...

"God instilled in us the desire to be pursued" just came out. I haven't been actually thinking about that but it is the truth.

The word says in Luke 15:4 "Suppose one of you had a hundred sheep and lost one. Wouldn’t you leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness and go after the lost one until you found it? When found, you can be sure you would put it across your shoulders, rejoicing, and when you got home call in your friends and neighbors, saying, ‘Celebrate with me! I’ve found my lost sheep!’ Count on it—there’s more joy in heaven over one sinner’s rescued life than over ninety-nine good people in no need of rescue." It goes on to say the same thing in the next verse and then into the verses about the prodigal son.

Do we do that though? Do we go look for that one lost sheep? The scripture actually says it is one "sinner" that is rescued so shouldn't we go after the saints as well. Shouldn't we pursue, search for that one friend, that one church member, that one co-worker that has lost their way in the wilderness?

So many times we get so caught up in what's happening in our circle that we forget to get outside of it. Why? It is uncomfortable? It makes us vulnerable? Our circle is our comfort zone and leaving that sets us up for all types of things and that is scary but c'mon people! God's grace is sufficient. He will be right there with you! DO IT.

I think about the people that I have watched walk out of my life. It makes me sad not because they are no longer there but because I didn't care enough to pursue them. I might have called them once or twice but after being rejected I just got offended and let them go but what could have happened if I have just made myself a little uncomfortable? Died to myself and stretched? I could have been rejected again OR I could have been the one that God used to break the wall that was built up to keep hurt out.


That desire alone will change a persons heart. When someone knows that someone else has an interest in them, regardless of who it is, a teacher, a person of the opposite sex, a best friend, a pastor, a congregation member, an employer, it does something to their heart. It reminds them that they are important to someone. It reminds them that they are ok. They are loved. Now, I know that no one should count on anyone but God to do that for them but we are here, on this earth, and need that every once in a while.

As I was praying about this I thought about John 15:13 "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." He doesn't follow it up with unless they struggle with something, unless they leave your presence, unless they decide....NO! He say LAY down his life. LAY in the present tense-do it everyday!

I know there are the verses that we use to not do this. I have done it myself. I remember when a lady that I talked to a regular basis decided that she needed a "break" from her life which included me! I tried to talk to her and was shut down every time which, of course, hurt my feelings, hurt my ego and my pride so I responded with "Jesus said that if you try to preach in your home town and people don't listen dust off your feet and move on so that is what I am doing". Shame on me!!

I should have never given up!

Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

If you look around your life and see that someone is missing...pursue them! Chase them! Search for them! Bring them back! Leave the flock and find the one lost sheep that is wandering around in the wilderness! When you are greeted with rejection-remember that hurting people hurt people. It's not about YOU. It's about bringing them to a place of safety. It's reminding them that someone loves them and it is reminding us to love like Jesus! Isn't that what we are called to do? Be the church? Love like Jesus? What if Jesus only hung out with the disciples? Better yet-what if Peter decided to get squirrely and wander off, do you think Jesus would have said "eeehhh, I don't have time to fool with Peter! If he wants to go let him go, another disciple will come along."

How absurd is that? No, Jesus would have reached out to Peter! and not in a half ditched effort to ease his conscience or save face. He would have truly reached out. He would have loved Peter!

Matthew 5:14-16 says that we are to be the light of the world.

It's time that we do that! We need to be the light of the world and shine! Show people that our light is a beacon of safety and if they follow it-they will be safe too.

Love doesn't give up! We shouldn't either!

Tuesday, July 2, 2013


Someone asked me the other day why I blog. I didn't really have an answer for her. My only answer was I don't know really. Sometimes I just have something to say! But then she made me think...Why do I blog? Here is my answer!

I blog for this woman:

She is my mom! I have learned so much from her just by watching her. She taught me to stand up for myself and believe in myself. I didn't do either of those things for a very long time but lately I hear her voice in a lot that I do.

I blog for these people:

It never ceases to amaze me that I learn the most from them. The everyday life lessons that most people miss I learn just by watching my family grow. God uses every single day as a lesson. Those lessons I blog about so that maybe I can help someone else.

But mostly I blog for this girl right here:

This woman is me! I have a past, a present and a future that I am learning to embrace. God has given me a calling and a purpose and I intend to live it. Part of that calling is to minister to women and this is just one outlet. I am learning so much about being a woman, a mom, a daughter, a friend and an obedient follower of God.

I blog because it brings my heart joy to have someone say "I read your blog and it was just what I needed". I blog because I feel that God tells me to reach out in this forum to spread his love and his word and I want to be obedient to him. I blog because I have a passion for the heart of women. All types of women move my heart, the single moms staring into loneliness every night, the moms that stare into chaos most days, the single women waiting for mr. right and wondering if God is playing a cruel joke on them because he hasn't come along yet and the young women that need guidance from someone other than Miley, Brittany and Ferrah.

I blog because I know that God loves me and I want you to know that he loves you too!

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Fresh Fruit

Good Morning y'all.

I am writing this blog post while sitting on my front porch watching my little play and it is heavenly. Even though the grass is wet, he is still out there playing, playing, playing without a care in the world. Wouldn't that be a great state of mind to live in all.the.time? To be like children right??

That is what the word like little children! Matthew 18:3 Then he said, "I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven."

But how do we turn from our sins? Isn't that the hard part? The big sins are pretty easy to turn from. You know the big ones...

No Stealing
No Murder
No Adultry
No Idols
No Meanness (to your momma & daddy)
No Wanting Your Neighbors Stuff
No Ugly Use of God's Name
No Hard Work On Sundays
God has to come first
No Lying on Your Neighbors

But what about the little ones? You know the little ones too...


Those are the ones that really get me ya know? The one that gets me the most though is DISOBEDIENCE. I am not talking about blatant disobedience here either. I am talking about partial obedience.

It makes me think about a bowl of fresh fruit.

Our life is like that bowl of fruit. We are going along in our life happy and fresh and pretty. We are going to work, school, church and living a Godly life. We are doing the right things. God tells us to do something and we do it (or most of it) but then we turn around and we find this.

We find this rotten bowl of fruit. We aren't sure when or what caused the fruit to rot but it did. There are fruit flies all in the house to prove it. You know, those pesky little fruit flies. 9 times out of 10 we will find that it isn't so much SIN that caused the fruit to rot but more it is partial obedience to God. God tells us to do something and we do it but we don't do it completely.

I have a perfect example of this:
God told me years ago that I should have my daughter cut ties with someone in her life. This person was causing discord her beliefs. She was not a good influence. Her family was very intrusive on us. She was very persuasive in ways that teens shouldn't know about. I did have her cuts ties with this person BUT I still allowed her to be her friend on Facebook. I still allowed her to text her. The only "Obedient" part was that I would not allow sleep overs. Well, this partial disobedience not only caused discord in my family but also put my little girl in a situation that was very unhealthy.

What do we do when we find the bowl of rotten fruit? We throw it out right? We get rid of it because those pesky fruit flies are the pits. But have you ever had a piece of rotten fruit in your house? Even after the fruit has been thrown out those fruit flies hang out a bit.

When we figure out the cause of the fruit flies (the rotten fruit) we get rid of it.

Just like in my situation above, I figured out that in order to get rid of the rotten fruit I had to be 100% obedient to what God said. "Cut all ties with this person" That meant ALL TIES. That meant Facebook, Tumblr, Instagram, Twitter and any other contact out there. Which is what we did BUT guess what?

The fruit flies of that rotten fruit were still out there...

The feelings of lack, the fear, the unworthiness, the lack of trust. All of those things that this one little bit of rotten fruit created was there flying around.

It took a little bit for those fruit flies to die. It took a lot of prayer. It took some wisdom on both of our parts. It took a lot of love and today they are gone.

The children of Israel were no different. God told them over and over again to do things and they only did part of it. It caused a vicious cycle for them. They would be given a command: have a fresh bowl of fruit (have the army kill everyone in the city) but they would only be partially obedient: fruit is rotting (army kills only men: allow women and children to live) what happens? FRUIT FLIES (the women and children wreck havoc on beliefs of everyone because they shouldn't be in the camp).

What a mess!!

BE OBEDIENT. God's commands to us are for our good. 100% obedience is a must people.

Partial obedience get us nothing but rotten fruit and fruit obedient. Don't worry about the consequences that men may bring because of you being obedient to God. Being obedient to God can be scary sometimes but the outcome is always better than the momentary fear. Just do it. The rewards are phenomenal. Don't believe me? Believe God. Try it out. He will show you :)

As for me and my house...we want fresh fruit...we will be obedient to the Lord.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Wondering eyes...

Do you ever wonder if your kids pay you any attention? Well I did. I have often thought about the little things. For example: Do they notice that I wear a lot of blue and that is one of my favorite colors? Do they notice that I would prefer to have a bowl of cereal for supper than pork chops, mashed potatoes, etc but I cook that for them? Do they notice that even though I blame them for making us run late in the mornings that it is really me? :)

For Mother's Day this year, the hubby tells my girls that maybe they should get me a BAM gift card. But instead I received 2 really pretty hanging baskets for the front porch. They are beautiful and I love them. What I love most is that the girls noticed that I have been really trying to make my front porch look homey. I have been admiring others front porches for several months and commenting on how cute they are.

Then Alyssa said something to me that blew me away. She said to me, "Mom, are you sure you are ok with the flowers? I haven't seen you get caught up in a good book in long time."

She is looking. She is watching. She is taking me actions, my words, my beliefs.

I am more aware now. I am more aware of what I am doing. I am more aware of my actions.

She is 15. Her sister is 13. Her brother is 3.

They are all watching. I pray that I am the example they need. I pray that they see the God loving mom that I long to be. Sometimes I am concerned that it is too late for them. I have already damaged their opinion of me but then I find notes that say "I find myself more and more like my mom and I couldn't be more proud" and that makes me proud.

But am I being something that they can be proud of?

Sometimes I don't think I am. Sometimes I find myself being exactly what they need. Sometimes I find myself lacking but every.single.time I find God taking up the slack. Being the bridge that fills in the gap. Turning my ashes to beauty. Building me up in their eyes. It's like they look at me and don't see the flaws. They don't see the weakness and I know they see me through God's eyes.

For that I am so thankful. For that I will be forever grateful. For that I will praise God. For that I will have peace.

Always remember...they are watching!

Wednesday, May 29, 2013


The American Heritage dictionary defines weakness as a personal defect or failing. I think I agree.

Some may or may not know that I have this fear of stepping out alone. By that I mean, if I am meeting someone at a restaurant I will sit in my car until they get there so I do not have to go in alone. As a teenager if I were going to meet people somewhere I always had my mom wait until I KNEW someone else was there so we could walk in together.

I wish I could say that it was because "there is safety in numbers" or it was some other rational reason but that's not the case. Truth is I was always afraid that I would be the ONLY one to show up and I would have to be there alone. There is this thing about being somewhere alone. What will people think if I am eating alone? Will they pity me? If I am sitting alone will people think I have no friends. It's scary people. Really scary!

Don't get me wrong...put me in the spotlight and I will rock it like no other. I will rock it simply because it is intentional. I am supposed to be alone in the spotlight.

Back to my stepping out alone issue...

I have been on a search lately. A search for ways to step out. A search for ways to stretch myself. To fulfill my calling that God has made perfectly clear I was created for. It lead me straight to a weakness! Stepping out alone...

To be obedient it meant that I would have to step inside a room full of women that I didn't know ALONE. A room full of women that didn't know me. They didn't care who I was or where I was from. I had no friends to laugh and chat with or sit with. AND I DID IT.

I walked into the main sanctuary with my purse in hand ready to learn about Gideon. I walked into the main sanctuary with only my purse and myself and my God. It was the most awesome and scariest thing in the world.

Back to the point...when I felt that God was calling me to this bible study I didn't hesitate. I was immediately obedient. I knew in my heart that I was going and there would be nothing to stop me. What I didn't know was what the bible study about. Who the bible study was about or what all it will entail. The leader had emailed me earlier in the day so I learned that it was about Gideon but I didn't really know what about Gideon. I didn't know that when I arrived and walked into this place of aloneness that God would be there in my face gently pulling me into my weakness. Guiding me to his grace and pushing me to hold out my hand to complete strangers and say "Hi, my name is Michelle Rodgers".

I was obedient to attend...not so obedient to holding out my hand to complete strangers.

Turns out the name of the bible study is Gideon Your Weakness God's Strength. WHAT??? Not only that but next week we will break up into small groups. Not small groups of our choice either. We will be PLACED in small groups by the leader. This completely scares me! This makes me wanna cry and shout at the same time. God is moving me!

Wow...I hear ya God. I feel your gentle push!! I hear your whisper in my ear that you will be there with me. I hear you whisper that your grace is sufficient.

Together, this weakness will become my greatest strength.

Thursday, May 23, 2013


Lately I have been completely uninspired.

Uninspired to write. Uninspired to talk. Uninspired to make decisions. Uninspired to be inspired.

Lately I have been wondering if that is ok?

How do you find the inspiration when yours is gone?

I don't even know where to look. I don't even know if I want too.

That is a little scary.

Monday, April 29, 2013

Where have I been? Where am I going?

Well...the question seems to be "Michelle, where have you been?"

It's funny really. I am right here.

I am right here where I need to be. I am right here where I want to be.

It seems like I have been on a search again. Not a search to find me but maybe a search to find everyone else. It's not that I want to know where everyone else is. It's that I NEED to know. I need to know who is surrounding me. I need to know that my surroundings are filled with positive influences. I need to be surrounded by Godly people. People that are going to build me up.

Change is happening. I enjoy change a lot. Sometimes I know that change is scary to some people but complacency scares me even more. I cannot and will not become complacent with my life. Not with my walk with God. Not with my friendships. I want constant change. Constant growth.

Lately, I have been enjoying some solitude with my family. I have discovered that I LOVE just spending time with them doing NOTHING. Absolutely NOTHING. Grilling on Sunday afternoons and playing ball outside with Jase. We sit on the front porch and talk about anything that comes to mind. We sit silently for as long as possible in the hopes that a rabbit or a deer will sneak up on us and we can watch them play. That is hard for my little one but he manages sometimes not to laugh. We don't really care about seeing the animals. It is just something to bring some laughter to that front porch. It is part of the change. Learning to be content with your family. Not needing to be influenced by anyone else. Teaching my children that friends may come and go but we (their parents and siblings) will ALWAYS be there. That is harder for the teenagers but something that I want them to know forever. I want them to stop looking outward and around at others. I want them to start looking inward for their answers and start seeking the advice of their parents.

Just like them, I need to stop looking around at others for acceptance and guidance and accept myself and look inward to hear my fathers voice. Seek his voice in the chaos known as life. Seek his influence amoung the worldly.

So you see, I know exactly where I am. My question is "Where are you?"

Friday, March 8, 2013



What is home to me?

I remember setting up a tent in the yard on Saturday for a birthday slumber party. Maybe it was my 10th or 11th and I had been allowed to go to an ALL NIGHT SKATE on Friday night. I remember having water balloon fights that left me with endless giggles and scars on my elbows. I remember a patch of dirt between the trees in the side yard where my little would play. A pink huffy bicycle that my brother used to learn to ride with no training wheels. A horse that was relentless and left me upside down holding on for dear life.

All of these are memories that I have of home.

The only home I remember where my parents were happy. They loved each other. I think back then the liked each other too. They slept in the same bed. They smiled and laughed. Home to me is that white house on the corner. I go back there every.single.time I make a trip to NC. I go there ALOT in my dreams.

In those dreams, the house is so different. Just as our lives changed, so did the house.

That is home to me. That is also a place I will never be able to go again.


Confession: I went over 45 seconds :)

Five Minute Friday

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Letting Go...

I got my feelings hurt today. You know the kind of hurt feelings where you have the lump in your throat and you fight the tears for hours. The hurt feelings that come from nowhere. The hurt feelings that could have been avoided completely with a simple discussion.

The discussion didn't happen. The feeling were hurt. The tears came even through the avid fight that I fought.

I was told to "Toughen up". I know I should. I know I shouldn't let hurting people hurt me but I can't help it. When someone does something deliberately to you, you just can't help it.

I do not like this emotion. This feeling of betrayal. This feeling of shame. This feeling of holding back when I really want to let go. Not the let go and let God kind of let go but the "Why did you feel that you needed to do this to me SCREAM and release of the tears kind of let go"

Instead, I am letting God heal my heart. Instead, I will love. I will not be angry. I will smile until my emotions are under control. I will forgive.

I will let go.

“It is impossible but that offenses will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come!” Luke 17:1

"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Ephesians 4:31-32

“Put on therefore, as the elect of God, … mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, long suffering; forebearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts. …” (Col. 3:12–13, 15.)

Tuesday, February 5, 2013


Ever had one of THOSE mornings?

I had one this very morning! I woke up mad at the world and everyone in it. I can't tell you why. Maybe it's "that time of the month" or I woke up on "the wrong side of the bed" either way...


I was angry because...

We only have ONE bathroom and EVERY.SINGLE.TIME I am in there for anything I am interrupted.

Jase didn't want to get dressed this morning so I showed him with a spanking and ruined his morning too.

My boots kept sinking in the stupid mud because my yard is ALWAYS wet and muddy.

I have 3 stinky bags of trash in my van because since we moved we have NO.TRASH.PICKUP.

I forgot my phone so I had to trapes through the mud TWICE.

I have a run in my pantyhose (yes it matters even if I am wearing pants).

I want ONE day...just ONE clean my house from top to bottom and then another day that I can rest! Just rest.

I want to be able to go buy something without worrying if it will overdraw our account.

I.WANT.A.HAIRCUT. and not a cheap one from a stranger. I want to go to Seventh Ave Salon and let Shany Holcomb shampoo, cut and style me.

I want supper to cook itself then clean up its own dishes.

I want today to be Friday.

I want the monotony of life to STOP and the spontaneity to kick in.

I want to go to bed and start all over!!!

More than anything else I am angry because most of you read my first sentence and assumed that I didn't count my blessing before I got angry but I did.

I sure did and I am thankful. I am grateful for my family, my house, my life, my job, all my second chances and the wonderfulness of the Father but


and you know what? I will get over it because tomorrow is a new day!

Friday, February 1, 2013


Time to link up again with Gypsy Mama for Five Minute Friday. It's so easy. Grab the button, blog for 5 minutes and share!

Let's go...

Afraid...when I think of that word I automatically think about literal fear. Fear of spiders, the dark, heights, etc but let's get real right now.

What am I really afraid of?


*someone finding out that in June of 2009 I did the unthinkable and until last year, what I felt unforgivable.

*not being accepted

*my kids not being able to succeed in life due to my lack of parenting skills

*being alone

*not ever having an intimate relationship with Jesus

*never letting go and truely worshipping my God

*speaking up (I know to some that is a funny statement but trust me, when it's important to me I HOLD BACK)

Well, there ya have it. Some of my inner fears that I hate owning up too or even admitting.

Anyone else have these issues?

Time's up!

Happy Friday

Five Minute Friday

Tuesday, January 29, 2013


I saw this photo today on Pintrest and boy did it strike a nerve. You see originally it said "You were given this life because you are stong enough to handle it". The lines through the last part are mine.

Can I just say that it struck a nerve. I don't mean I got a little riled up. I mean I was A.N.G.R.Y. I was angry for several different reasons.

1. You are given this life because YOU MADE CHOICES.

2. Why does today society refuse to take responsiblity for those choices?

3. It is so unfair, not to mention wrong, to blame God for what is going on in your life. Maybe it wasn't YOUR choices that put you in your situation but it certainly wasn't HIS.

This may be more of a rant than a blogpost because I am finding that I am passionate about this.

I think about my life and some of the choices that I have made and all the people I could blame for my place in this journey but you know what???? I CHOSE to take this road. It was my CHOICE. I can promise you that God never intended for me to struggle financially, look shame in the face and take it on, feel rejection all the way to my core and he certainly did not give me a time of sorrow because I AM STRONG ENOUGH TO HANDLE IT. No, my choices gave me those times in my life but because of my FAITH in GOD I was strong enough to handle it. Because I knew that he never left my side no matter how low I sank, I was able to rise up out of that.

I know it is easier to blame someone else for where you are. I know it is a whole lot less painful to point the finger and say that it is "God's Will" for you when you mess up. I know that sometimes playing the martyr feeds the ego but I also know that NONE of those things will create an overcomer! None of those EXCUSES will bring you to a place of joy. You will continue to struggle. You will continue to go around and around and around the same issues! Let's be the conqueror's we are called to be people!

I would bet my life, yes MY LIFE, that GOD does not get his way all the time. He is NOT in control of everything. If that was the case do you really think that EVERY.SINGLE.PERSON wouldn't be saved? That is why he sent his son. Don't believe me? Read John 3:16 for yourself. It doesn't say so that a few would know his son...he said so that THE WORLD would know his son. Pretty sure that means EVERYONE. Do you think if God controlled all of our actions that the abortion clinics would still be killing babies EVERY.SINGLE.SECOND.? I don't think so. There would be no children starving, no women raped, no men murdered, no tornados, hurricanes, tsunami or any other natural would for sure be unicorns and rainbows.

So, before you think that picture that was posted on pintrest is cute, before your repin it, before you buy into that prideful statement... you need to remember that you are given this life because you chose it not because you are stong enough to handle it.

I think it should read "I was given this life because of the choices I made. I am conquering my mistakes because I know Jesus!"

Just sayin'

Monday, January 28, 2013

Pantry Make-Over

Well...I am not really sure why I am blogging about this.

Maybe because everyone else does? Maybe because I am proud of my pantry and the work I put into it? Regardless, I am posting pictures and telling how I did it...just for me!

About 2 rent checks ago we moved into an old farmhouse out on the Ridge in Baxter. This house is very cramped for my family of 5 but I love it. It is quaint. It is cute. It is charming. It is OLD. I don't think it has been updated in 15 years so I am starting with a bare slate to say the least.

Since we are digging out of a money hole I have limited resources to update this house and don't want to dump money into something we don't own.

I had noticed a post about organizing pantries from A Bowl Full of Lemons and thought WHY NOT?

I am taking ideas as I need them.

Now I am not nearly as extravagant as she is but here it goes...

BEFORE is kinda sad and blah huh?

But AFTER is cute and sassy (at least I think so)

All I did is throw some contact paper used for shelving up in the back and used things I had at the house! Didn't cost me one penny. Now that is redecorating on a dime!

If I could just get the hubby to agree to remove the doors I would be happy! It still needs a little work but Hey, gotta start somewhere :)

Redo yours and share the pics with me...

Friday, January 25, 2013


Five Minute Friday

Come blog with us! Five Minutes to type! A couple mintues to link up! A day full of interesting reads! A lifetime of lessons!

Let's Go...

I discovered that Kim Walker-Smith has a new album out.

I think it called "Still Believe". Anyway, there is a song on this album called "Healing Oil".

I have listened to it again and again and again.

I discovered it Wednesday and am sure I have listened to it 6,897,654 times.

"I can feel your healing oil running down my brow. I wouldn't trade another lifetime for how I feel right now".

Here is the thing...I don't feel his healing oil running down my brow but I want to.

I long for that feeling again. I listen hoping that maybe I will feel it. What will it feel like?

Will it feel like a bug crawling down my face? Will it be an emotion in my heart? Will it be tears streaming down my face? Will it be uncontrollable shouting? Running?

Maybe it will be a silent whisper. A still small voice?

I will continue to listen. Again and again until I feel that healing oil. It brings such peace to me. Just listening to the words. Closing my eyes and getting lost in the voice reminding me that he is the miracle maker.

Perhaps that in itself is the healing oil. The knowing that he is the miracle maker. Knowing that he holds my heart in his hand. That is wants to be in my presence as much I want to be in his.

Yes, I will listen again and again...

Wednesday, January 23, 2013


Broken, Beat down, Defeated

Heartache, Confusion, Chaos

Loneliness, Finality, Torn

Loss, Disappointment, Depression

Rejection, Unhappiness, Abandonment

Burden, Relief, Deception

Harrassment, Torment, Fear

Adoption, Divorce, Freedom

and none of this is my burden to bear

Monday, January 21, 2013

Failure-Covered in Grace

How do we really measure either one?

What if we never really fail but only find ways that don't work.

What if everything in life is viewed as a success just a different levels.

I honestly feel like failure is a state of mind and in my mind I am ALWAYS most times a huge success in all things!

That is only true because I am COVERED.IN.GRACE.

Happy Monday!

Covered in Grace

Sunday, January 20, 2013


I have been thinking about, praying about bravery and courage for the past couple of days. This has been on my heart because I came across a blog on Friday while participating in Five Minute Friday with Lisa Jo Baker! It's such a fun thing to do. You should check it out.

Anyway, I came across this blog called Black and White With A Little Bit of Pink. The author of this blog is an amazingly courageous lady named Jess. Her daughter (step-daughter) has down-syndrome and she discusses very openly about the joy and her daily struggles with her (daughter's) disability. I strongly suggest that you hop over and check out her blog. All I could think of was the courage it took to be brave enough to open yourself up people you don't know. To put your heart out there so raw and exposed for the world to stomp on if they feel that she is wrong.

Such a courageous woman! There is a world full of courageous women if we look hard enough. I am not talking about the courage to jump from an airplane. I am not talking about the courage and bravery it takes to stand on the enemy lines and fight for our country. I am talking about silent courage. The courage that isn't obvious to us on the outside. The courage that only you know about.

courage is facing everyday knowing that you are raising a daughter while your husband fights for our country.

courage is listening to that still small voice and believing what it is saying to you.

courage is walking into a room full of women with the intent of leaving with a room full of friends.

courage is a 14 year old girl walking into a highschool with a smile on her face knowing that all she will face on the other side are strangers.

courage is making the next right choice when it is not the popular one.

courage is looking your past square in the face and taking it on like a beast!

courage is a woman pooring her life savings into a business that she has dreamed of for years not knowing if it will fail or succeed.

courage is a teenage girl walking up to a teenage boy and inviting him to a Sadie Hawkins dance (especially if he isn't part of the "group").

courage is bloggin your heart out knowing that you may never have a follower ever.

courage is saying YES to something new when your mind is screaming NO.

courage is NOT going with the flow just because everyone else does.

courage is looking the future square in the face and taking it on like a beast

Mostly, courage is knowing who you are in Christ and accepting it whole-heartedly without reservation. Courage is knowing that no matter where you have been in life and no matter where you go GOD is there. Courage is allowing him in your heart and letting him do the work. Courage is knowing that YOU ARE ENOUGH.

I personally know women doing the things above.

I have some B.R.A.V.E. ladies in my life. These ladies are full of courage. They are full of love. They are full of life.

They are full of C.O.U.R.A.G.E. Funny thing is, I don't know if they even know it.

Friday, January 18, 2013

5 Minute Friday-Cherished

Let's go...

Cherished are the moments of solitude I have experienced as of late.

Cherished is the moment I realized how awesome the solitude has been. A refreshing solitude that has allowed me to overcome some insecurities.

Cherished is the moment I realized that longing for solitude is ok. It does not mean there is anything wrong with me.

Cherished is the moment my heart felt ok with being content in my home with my family. A contentness that the 4 walls of a house has not been able to provide for a long time. Cooking supper, laughing in the kitchen while dancing in socks.

Cherished is the moment that I can't wait to leave the place that provides me a paycheck to get to the place that provides me with happiness! The place where 4 hearts are entangled with mine to produce a love that is unspeakable. A love that fills me with joy.

Cherished are the moments. Cherished is my family. Cherished is my life!


Come on over and blog with us!!

Five Minute Friday

Thursday, January 17, 2013


Ever have those days when you just feel empty.

I am having a day like that today. In fact, I have been having weeks like that. Weeks of feeling empty.

Weeks of feeling as though I have nothing to give. I have nothing to share. I have nothing to say.

I long to start pecking on the keys. I long to upload a cute little picture to go with my story but I have no story to tell. I feel alone and empty in this place.

I long for conversation but have nothing to say. I long for togetherness but have no desire to entertain. Is this a normal thing?

In a room full of people, I smile and I laugh but on the inside I feel like my words are echos. The sounds are echoing on the walls of the empty space inside. It's not genuine commraderie I feel. It's a toleration of the time I have to spend away from my solitude.


Then I think of "The Desert Song"

This is my song in the harvest-where favor and providence flows-I know I'm filled to be emptied again- this seed I've received I will sow.

Is that what this is? Have I sown seed for a season and now I wait to reap the harvest?

Am I at a place where I am waiting for God to fill me up again? Shouldn't I be more like Jesus? Jesus cherished being with people… He enjoyed social occasions … He was a much sought-after dinner guest. Most people were very comfortable around Him and He was comfortable around them. Did he ever feel empty? Did he ever long to be around people but just didn't have it in him to do it?

Am I alone in this? Does anyone else have these experiences?


Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Things aren't always what they seem...

Everyone seems to be doing the whole resolution thing but unlike everyone else I have none. There are things that I would like to do more more organized, drink more water, eat healthier, drink the green smoothy thingy for 30 days, say "I love you" more, mend fences with my dad (for real), etc. Fact is, I may do some of things for a few days or even weeks but more likely than not, I will give up, quit, forget or just not want to do something and not do it.

Therefore I do not make resolutions.

However, I do like to look back at the past year of my life and see how it has changed and see how differently it looks. See what I have done to make a difference in my life and the lives around me.

I must not have done much because I can't remember a whole bunch of stuff but I do know that whether I did one thing or 50 things;I have a life to celebrate and that is what matters!

Let's see...what did I do in 2012?

Took a REAL vacation with my family. One that included an itinerary and everything.

Celebrated my 1 year anniversary.

Got fired from my job (the first time ever)

Landed a sweet job that is much better than the one that I was eliminated from.

Strengthened some relationships with some awesome ladies.

Swallowed my pride and let those ladies inside to my ugly areas so we could let some healing begin.

Ran a 5K...that's right RAN a 5K...from beginning to end.

Discovered a sweet relationship with my sister in law. One that I have longed for for such a long time.

Moved into a cute little farmhouse.

Discovered a love of John Mayer, Jason Mraz, Jack Johnson and all those laid back easy listening guys! LOVE, LOVE, LOVE them all.

Found my crafty side.

Grew so much closer to my God that I can't explain it in words.

Took the advice of a super awesome drama mama about my kiddos and have the sweetest relationship with them now.

Went to see Jesus Culture! They totally rocked it.

Lost a sweet friend in a car accident.

Graduated from bible school and taught on a subject that is the foundation of our church (gulp)

I am sure there is so much more but it's hard to remember! One resolution I will make is to journal more this year. Only so that I can look back and remember what my life was like.

I like to think that looking at your life year to year should be like looking at a remodeled house. It was ok and liveable the year before but it sure does look improved now. If it doesn't, perhaps you should buy a hammer and some nails and get busy.

Make your 2013 a year of remodeling!