Thursday, March 13, 2014

Wrath, Pride and Gentleness

There really is nothing like a good chastising from God first thing on a Thursday morning now is there? I don't know what you call your interactions with God when he is offering you correction and guidance. I don't know if you refer to it as a whipping, a good talking to or a gentle nudge but regardless of what you call it-it is the sweetest thing because there is a lesson to be learned. Today he used one of my favorite authors, Lysa Turkuerst, to open my heart to some things going on in my life and I must say I am so thankful that he did.

I read a post about conflict resolution (fun right?) and it brought to mind an issue that Emilee and I had a couple of nights ago(if you are knew here Emilee is my sweet 14 year old daughter).

Without going into to much detail, she was struggling with some issues in our everyday family life, school, etc. and was talking to me about them. I reacted with defensiveness and immediately felt the need to prove her wrong and me right. About 10 minutes into this I remembered that this was my gentle, hurt, sweet little girl and I needed to put down my weapons and LISTEN to her and thank God that I did.

The situation was immediately diffused and a great talk resulted but today God is really showing me some other steps that I should have taken with her.

I think back to that night-her tears, her hearts cry and my absent gentleness, my immediate harsh response and it hurts my heart. I don't want to have to regret my reactions. I don't want to have to sit and wonder how much damage I did to our relationship. I should have been the adult and realized the pain that was there. I should have immediately acknowledged her hurt and comforted her with a hug and allowed her to lean on me until she was ready to talk. That is what a moma does right? Parenting is hard y'all and this moma is still learning. Looking back, I don't remember many hugs and touching moments filled with sweet background music when I was growing up. Not that my parents didn't love me because they did (and still do) but we just weren't a huggy, touchy feely family. During times like these I wish it came second nature to me because what my sweet girl needed was her moma's arms around her.

Truth is...what every hurting person needs is someone's arms around them FIRST. First, before the conflict is ever discussed they need to know that no matter what is said or not said that LOVE comes first and LOVE conquers everything.

But that night I failed...that night is a lesson I am learning. That night has lead me here.

In the blog post I referred to earlier, three scriptures were referenced and I hear them all the time. God brings them to my remembrance alot but I choose to shove them back down. Today I am really letting them sink deep into my heart and am tucking them away for the next moment :)

1. Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” That one is obvious to me. Had my reaction immediately been a gentle answer instead of defensiveness then we both would have avoided some anger and tears but I chose the hard way first. I got it eventually BUT hindsight is 20/20 right?

2. Proverbs 29:23 “Pride brings a person low, but the lowly in spirit gain honor” OUCH...that pride gets us every time huh? I felt that she was attacking my parenting skills, my communication ability, my past decisions and that hurt my pride because truth be told she was exactly right. How humiliating to have a 14 year old air your dirty laundry and faults and be RIGHT about it all.

3. Phillipians 4:5 “Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near” This is what I feel is the most important and the part that God is dealing with me about today. When it comes to conflict resolution with anyone but especially my family, I am not only setting an example for them in the future but I am showing them God in me. If gentleness is not my reaction then what are they learning? What is my example saying about Jesus in me?

I want my immediate response to anyone, especially my family, to be love. I desire an open heart and open arms. My response will be a gentle word, a hug. My desire is that compassion oozes from me first even if I think the hurt is petty and silly. Jesus loves and comforts every situation. Jesus doesn't say "Suck it up. I can't believe you are upset about that." Jesus says for us to come to him if we are burdened and find his rest in him. If Jesus is me and I am him then shouldn't that be my attitude as well?

My response will turn away wrath. I will have a lowly spirit and be a gentle example.

At least that is my hope and with Jesus all things are possible.


  1. Great post Michelle!! Love never fails!!

  2. Michelle, Thank you , for this hit home. My daughter will be twenty five in April with a three year old Son and another one on the way. In reading this I saw myself when she was your daughters age and I also saw her and how that made her feel, toward me. I am a Christian, Daughter, Wife and Mother that loves GOD and her family, but I was her Mother and she was the child. Now, as she is older I have ask her forgiveness in a lot of situations and she looks at me and tells me that she understands both sides, now. How I love my only child and if I could go back in time, I would do a lot of things differently. I am thankful and so grateful that we had a strong love for one another and a relationship that weathered out all storms, for she is a loving Daughter, Wife and Mother that I am so very proud of.